love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
