I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
