i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
