i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
