she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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