My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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