Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
