I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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