worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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