You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I want her autograph on my taint
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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