She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
