i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
