get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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