The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
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I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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