handjob tips. give me some.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
