when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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