Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Everything about him screamed your future.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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