oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
