I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
