we're blogging at a bar
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
