He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
