Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
