I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?