I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys