at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.