I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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