wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
