RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
