Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize