Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
