it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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