they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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