Need sex. Gaining weight.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize