Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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