For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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