Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
