and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
