i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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