it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize