I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
