Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
