You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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