umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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