Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
