Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize