hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The Olympian is in my bed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
