yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
