Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
