I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
