We're facebook friends in real life
I met the friendliest cop last night
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
