How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
