its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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