I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
