Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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