I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
