best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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