im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
