new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
