i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
