D3 body, D1 cock
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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