SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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