Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Maybe he injected his testicle?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
