Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
