God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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