you win again, gameday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
