I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
