Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
