Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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