Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
