he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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