So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
